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while
I want you really badly, the last thing I d try to do is pressure you into
doing
something that doesn t feel right.
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It does feel right. She placed her hand on his chest. And oh my, did
it feel right to touch his bare chest. The temptation to ask him to do it,
to
pull her over to the bed and teach her all about sex, was almost
overpowering.
However, there was still something that held her back.
Or at least mostly right. She pulled her hand from his bare skin. I
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think I just need to figure out who I am first. She stared at his chest,
afraid if she looked him in the eyes, she d turned candy apple red
again.
Unfortunately, he raised his hand and tilted her head back and forced
her
to look at him.
I know who you are, Kylie. You re warm, funny, and beautiful. You
are so good to everyone, everyone likes you. And you ve got tons of
spunk.
I really like spunk.
I mean what I am, she corrected, feeling his fingers brushing against
her neck.
What you are doesn t matter. Because what you are isn t going to
change who you are. He dropped his hand from her chin. And I m
not
saying this to rush you to have sex. I just want you & I wish you could
see
yourself through my eyes. I wish you could see how special you are.
And I
don t care what you turn out to be.
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Tears prickled her eyes and she wrapped her arm around his naked
torso and pressed her cheek against his warm wall of chest that
smelled
clean, soapy, and moist. You re the one who s special, she whispered.
Nope, he answered, and chuckled. If I was special I wouldn t be
thinking about how I could change your mind about having sex right
now. So let s get out of this room before I decide to tackle you on my
bed.
She laughed and looked up into his eyes.
He smiled and ran his hand up under her shirt and to her bare back
where he cupped his hand in the curve of her naked waist. That whole
breaking the door down was really a turn-on.
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And not the fact that you were naked? Had she said that? Instantly,
she wished the floor would swallow her up.
Nope, it was definitely the door thing. Now if you d been naked& He
let go of a deep gulp of air. Okay, we d better quit talking about this.
He
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pulled away from her, caught her hand, and tugged her out of his
bedroom.
She let him lead her out into the living room. He eyed the couch and
then looked back at her. His eyes looked heavy, sleepy, and hot.
Almost
as bad as the bed.
She grinned and he pulled her out onto the front porch. He slipped on
his shirt, then dropped down and leaned against the cabin on the
bloodfree
end of the porch. Once settled, he looked up and patted the spot on
the porch beside him. She lowered herself beside him, and scooted
over
so her arm was against his. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she said,
Thanks.
He shifted and lifted his hand around her shoulder and pulled her a
tad closer. You re welcome.
Neither of them said anything for several minutes. She just sat there,
close and absorbing the feel of him beside her. Questions tumbled
around
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her head like a pair of tennis shoes in the dryer. But embarrassment
kept
her from voicing them.
Go ahead and ask it, he said, almost as though he was reading her
thoughts.
She raised her head off his shoulder. Ask what?
Whatever it is that s making you feel embarrassed and curious. I can
read your emotions, remember?
She frowned. And I hate that, too. I don t want you reading me.
But I can t help it. I don t know how to not read you. He chuckled
and looked down at her. And just like all the other times they were
together,
the night had a fairy-tale feel about it. The stars twinkled like
diamonds
in the sky. The trees looked too full. The moon, less than a week
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from being full, gave off enough light that she could see his face. I
think
you re going to have a bruise. She touched the side of his nose.
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He caught her hand in his and kissed the inside of her hand. So, what
is it that s making you embarrassed and curious?
I m just& If she didn t tell him now, he d probably envision the
worst. Then again, what she was curious about might be the worst.
Just ask me. He nudged her with his shoulder.
She hesitated and then just blurted it out. I m curious about how
many girls you ve been with. I know you re almost eighteen and& Her
words faltered. Kylie knew he wasn t a virgin, and not just because
he d
said something that led her to believe it, but just how & he kissed.
His brow crinkled and she could tell he wished he hadn t pushed her
to ask.
Oh, he said.
Oh? she repeated. And now more than ever she wanted an answer.
You made me ask, now you have to answer.
He hesitated. A few.
That s vague. She pulled her fingers from his.
He breathed in and then out. Okay, four.
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That s more than a few.
Sorry. He didn t deny that he d been lying. It just feels awkward
talking about it with you.
Yeah, it does, she said, realizing she didn t like knowing. Didn t like
thinking about him being with someone else. Sorry I asked.
Don t be. He leaned back against the cabin wall and went back to
listening to the night. Can I ask you something?
Sure. A nervous flutter tickled her stomach. But considering how
personal her own question had been, she couldn t tell him no.
If Lucas were still here, would you still be sitting next to me?
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Chapter Fifteen
His question ran across all sorts of nerves and not the good ones,
either.
What kind of question is that?
Obviously a hard one. He pulled his knee up to his chest and stared
down at his toes.
Something told her he was reading her right now trying to
understand
her emotions. But how could he when she didn t understand them
herself? He s not here, Kylie said.
He looked over at her. Rumor has it that he s coming back.
She felt her breath catch in her throat. Doesn t matter, she forced
herself to say. He s with Fredericka.
He d drop her for you like this. Derek snapped his fingers. He s not
blind or stupid.
She shook her head. Well, maybe I don t want anyone who d run off
with someone else.
He arched an eyebrow. It s the maybe in your answer that worries
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me more than the confusion you re feeling right now. He leaned his
forehead
down to hers. Please don t break my heart, Kylie.
Her own heart almost broke right then. It s the last thing I want to
do.
He kissed her softly, then pulled back. I should get you back to your
cabin before everyone gets back here.
She nodded and accepted his hand to help pull her up. They started to
walk off the porch when he stopped. Oh, I forgot. I got something to
give
you. He ran back inside and returned after a few short seconds hold-
ing a
piece of paper.
What s this? she asked when he put it in her hands.
It s a telephone number of a private investigator.
When he didn t continue, she asked, And I need it for& ?
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